Torn Apart
by kmhart3
Summary: The story of the Marauders after graduation. Their lives and the romances that we didn't really get to see. This is pre-Harry but there will be a sequel that is during Harry's time. SBOC RLOC JPLE
1. Prologue

Torn Apart – Prologue

**A/N: **The prologue is the only part in this story that is set in Hogwarts. The rest will be after they graduate, unless it's a flashback or something. This story will be pre-Harry, but then there will be a sequel that is during Harry's time. I've got the whole thing very well mapped out so I hope you like it and stick with it. The normal chapters will be longer…this is just shorter since its just the prologue.

**Disclaimer: **I do not own Harry Potter in any way shape of form.

Torn Apart – Prologue

Sirius looked at the map again, for what seemed like the hundredth time in the past hour.  
They were still in the exact same spot. It was enough that they were together, but them being alone together was what bothered him most. Especially since they hadn't moved in the past hour. That was what was driving him crazy. What could they possibly be doing just standing…or sitting…or laying in the exact same spot for an hour. He tried not to think about what they could be doing.

Sirius sighed and looked at the clock on his night stand. It read 8:04, which meant that he was officially insane. It had felt like he had been staring at the map for at least an hour when in reality, it had only been 4 minutes because their date had started at 8. This was pure torture. He groaned and put the map on his night stand next to his clock. It had only been 4 bloody minutes. That's what she did to him. That's just how crazy she made him. He had to think about something else or he wouldn't even be able to sleep tonight. Why did this girl affect him so much? What was so special about her? They'd never even had any civil conversations between them, all they did was argue. So why did he think about her all the damn time? He groaned again and got up from his bed, deciding to try and find James to keep his mind off of _her._ As he was walking down the stairs he saw his sister Mira and Remus reading a book together on a couch next to the fireplace, and he rolled his eyes. It didn't really bother him anymore that one of his best friends was dating his baby sister, but he just wasn't in the mood to see everybody all lovey dovey around each other. Which is why he was glad to see Lily in a corner of the common room by herself, because it meant that James was probably alone somewhere and he could help him keep his mind off of girls and relationships in general. He looked around the common room to see if he could find him. When he didn't see any sign of him, he headed for the portrait hole. After he scrambled through the portrait hole, he saw James walking toward him from down the hall.

"Where have you been?" he asked James as he came a little closer.

"The library," he said, "what's wrong?" Sirius had never decided if it was a good think or a bad thing that they could read each other so well.

"Nothing just bored," he said, "let's go to the kitchens…I'm kind of hungry."

James gave him an odd look but turned around and said "ok".

As they walked towards the kitchens, they made idle conversation. James would keep giving Sirius odd looks, knowing that something was wrong, but whenever asked, Sirius either said, "nothing" or "I'm fine".

They turned a corner and ran head on into a girl coming from the opposite direction, who landed on the floor.

"Hey Kayla…sorry about that," said James, holding out his hand to help her up from the ground.

Kayla smiled and shook her head, "its fine James…I should have been paying attention to where I was going."

Sirius just stared at her. "What are you doing here?" he demanded.

Kayla turned to him, gave him a cold look and replied, "Not that it's any of your business but I was on my way back to the common room."

"So soon?" asked Sirius, a little rudely. "What, did you get tired of snogging Higgins already?"

Kayla's eyes widened and flashed as she said, "And what exactly is that supposed to mean?"

"You know damn well what it means," he said.

James, wide eyed, was standing with the two, not really knowing what to make of the two. Sure, they fought all the time, but not like this.

"If I knew what it meant I wouldn't have asked you for an explanation!" she said, her voice shaking with anger.

"Oh don't give me that! I see the way you look at him and how you spend all of your free time with him!"

"For your information, Josh and I are just friends and we were just studying together.

"Oh I bet that's all it is. That's also what you said about Pingley and Meyers, and we all know how those ended."

"Sirius!" snapped James. "What has gotten into you?"

Sirius looked at James as though he were seeing him for the first time before he slowly exhaled.

Kayla, however, was looking at Sirius with a mixture of disgust and horror, before she stormed by the both of them, making her way back to the Gryffindor common room. The two boys watched her for a few seconds before James turned to Sirius with an incredulous look on his face. "What the hell is wrong with you? What was that all about?"

Sirius looked at James a second before he rubbed his face in his hands and said, "I don't know," he said, '_But I wish I did' _he thought. He felt even worse now than he had before he had found James. That's always how it was between him and Kayla. They fought constantly, but when they weren't around each other, she was all he could think about. What was worse now was that before she walked away, he could have sworn he saw tears in her eyes.


	2. Wedding Plans

Disclaimer: Like I said before…I unfortunately don't own Harry Potter

**Disclaimer: **Like I said before…I unfortunately don't own Harry Potter. 

Chapter 1- Wedding Plans

1 Year Later

Kayla, Lily, and Mira were sitting together at a table outside of a restaurant in Diagon Alley, surrounded by books, magazines, and notebooks.

"I don't really see why we need all this stuff to plan your wedding Lily," said Kayla, after an hour of looking through muggle bridal magazines. "I mean, we hardly planned anything for Mira's wedding, and it was a beautiful ceremony."

Mira smiled and said, "Yes, but Remus and I wanted a small, quiet ceremony."

"Yes, Mira's wedding was beautiful, but I have muggle relatives, so I want this to be a traditional muggle ceremony so that my relatives don't get suspicious." said Lily.

"Well yes, I can understand that, I have muggle relatives as well, remember?" said Kayla, "I just meant do you really think you need…that…_thing_?" she said, pointing to a very large 3 ring binder full of wedding plans. "I mean you'd think you had the rest of your life mapped out in there with how huge it is, instead of just one day."

Lily snapped her head up from writing her seating chart and said, "Just one day?! Just one day? This _day _just so happens to be one of the biggest days of my life! This _day_ will mark the beginning of my journey through life with James."

Mira was smiling and said, "She's right Kayla…just let her plan it her own way."

Kayla stared at Lily and mentally rolled her eyes. Sometimes she just didn't understand her two best friends. "Alright, sorry Lily…I've just never experienced something like this. It just seems a little…overwhelming."

"Well, it is overwhelming, but it will be worth it in the end." said Lily, going back to arranging her seating chart. "I can't wait until you get married and you try planning your wedding."

Kayla smiled and shook her head, taking a drink of her butterbeer in front of her.

"What?" said Mira, "You think you'll never get married?"

Lily looked up from her chart again and looked at Kayla, who looked at both of them in return. "Well let's face it," she said, "I'm not really like you guys."

"What exactly is that supposed to mean?" asked Lily.

"Well…nothing bad…I just don't really see myself as the settling down kind of girl."

"And why not?" asked Mira calmly.

"I don't know…I'm just a lot different than the both of you."

"And that means you're not allowed to fall in love?" asked Mira again.

Kayla looked at Mira and then Lily "Look," she said, "you both know how happy I am for you that you found someone to spend the rest of your lives with, but you know how I feel about love."

"Yes, and it's a bunch of shit." said Lily.

"Lily!" said Mira, and then turned to look at Kayla. "Yes, we know how you feel about love, but you know how we feel about it too. We know that there is someone out there for you. You just haven't met him yet."

"Or recognized him," said Lily with a glance toward Mira.

Kayla looked at Mira and Lily and said, "What?"

Lily then looked back at her and said, "What do you mean what?"

"You said 'or recognized him' and you and Mira looked at each other."

"Can I not look at Mira?" asked Lily.

Kayla knew she wasn't going to get it out of either of them so she just rolled her eyes and picked up another magazine, signaling to the other two that the conversation was over.

Mira and Lily looked at each other and shared a smile before picking up their own magazines.

Kayla was flipping through the pages of her magazine, but not really paying attention. Her friends knew her beliefs about love, which were nonexistent, yet they still believed _for_ her. She had to admit, she did feel kind of lonely sometimes…and she did feel left out sometimes when her and Mira and Remus and Lily and James were together. Sirius was usually there too, but that didn't make her feel any better, since she wanted absolutely nothing to do with him.

She believed in dating, yes, and having relationships between men and women, but falling in love…it just wasn't possible. Love wasn't real, so why even pretend? She had learned this well with her own parents. They had married when they were just twenty and her dad had been head over heels in love with her mother. Or so he claimed…she knew that wasn't possible. Her father had been a wizard and her mother a muggle. Her mother had claimed she didn't care about him being a wizard, but about a year after they married, a few months after Kayla had been born, their marriage started to fall apart. Kayla's father had found out that her mother had had a son a few years ago with another man. She had never felt like mentioning it to her father. Her son had come to live with them then, because the father had died in a car crash. About three days later, her mother was gone. She had just left her father alone with Kayla and her son to raise, leaving her father absolutely devastated. He had raised Matt, Kayla's half brother, like his own though. Kayla couldn't have asked for a better father and knew that her brother felt the same way. Neither Matt nor Kayla ever saw their mother again, although neither of them remembered her anyway, so they didn't really mind.

Lily sighed, making Kayla snap out of her reverie. "I suppose it's time to go meet the guys now…what do you think?"

Mira checked her watch and said, "Yes, it's about that time."

The three piled all of their things on the table in front of them, and then Lily shrunk them to fit inside her pocket. They got up from the table and made their way down the street to the Leaky Cauldron, where they were supposed to be meeting the guys for lunch.

When the girls walked in, they didn't see them so they chose a big table in the corner to wait for them. They waited about ten minutes before they saw Remus walk in the door. He spotted them and made his way over. He smiled and gave Mira a peck on the lips before sitting down beside her.

"So how is the wedding coming along?" he asked.

"Pretty good," said Lily smiling, "it's just a little stressful with it being so close."

"I can imagine," said Remus with a smile, taking Mira's hand into his own.

"Where are James and Sirius?" asked Lily.

"I'm sure they'll be here soon." Said Remus. Just as he said this, the two walked through the door. Lily waved her hand to signal them over. She stood up and James gave her a kiss before sitting down next to her, leaving Sirius to sit in the only spot left…next to Kayla. Kayla sighed and moved her chair as far away from his as possible.

"I don't bite, Hall," said Sirius with a smirk. A smirk that Kayla wanted to smack off of his face.

"I never said you did Black," she said, "I just want to make sure I don't get any diseases you might have."

"If I have any it's because I got them from you," he retorted.

"Ok that's enough," said Mira, giving her brother a warning look. "We're here to talk about James and Lily's wedding. Lily's stressed enough the way it is and doesn't need you two adding to it."

"Sorry," they both muttered at the same time. They glared at each other but both held their tongues when Remus cleared his throat.

'Why does he have to be so infuriating?' thought Kayla. 'I didn't think it was possible for someone to be that annoying.'

'There you go again Sirius. What the hell is wrong with you?' said Sirius to himself. 'She's the last person in the world you want to fight with, but for some reason she's basically the only one you do fight with. Well…besides dark wizards that is.'

Sirius turned to look at her. She had her dark hair up in a ponytail today. She looked beautiful, as always. But didn't she know he liked it when her hair was down and loose?

'How in the world is she supposed to know that Sirius?' he asked himself. 'It's not like you have conversations like that with her. It's not like have conversations at all with her.'

'Why can't you just have a normal conversation with her instead of always just insulting her?'

"What do you think Sirius?" asked James, making Sirius aware of the fact that he hadn't been paying attention to anything that was being said. He looked around the table, everyone was staring at him. Well…everyone except for Kayla…she was glaring at him.

"Can't you even pay attention to something like this?" asked Kayla.

Sirius just glanced at her, before turning to James and saying, "Sorry…I was thinking about something…what did you say?"

James, who had seen him watching Kayla, just smirked and said, "Lily asked you who you wanted to walk down the aisle with for the wedding."

"Oh…umm…I don't know…who's available?"

"Well, I'm assuming that Remus will want to walk down with Mira, so that leaves either Kayla or my cousin Alexis." said Lily.

"The flower girl?" asked Sirius.

"Yes,"

"But she's a baby!"

"She's not a baby! She's six years old!" said Lily.

"I'm not walking down the aisle with a six year old." said Sirius indignantly.

"I never said you had to…you can always walk down with Kayla." She said.

"That's fine," he said.

"Wait! Don't I get some kind of say in this?" asked Kayla. "What if I don't want him escorting me down the aisle?"

"Am I that bad that you can't spend fifteen seconds of your life walking with me down a damn aisle? Especially for our friends' wedding?" asked Sirius hotly.

"Oh I'll do it…I would just rather not have anything to do with you at all."

Sirius let out a breath and sat back in his seat.

"Are we about done here?" he asked James.

"Umm…yeah…I think that was all we needed to talk about today."

"But…," said Lily, but was silenced with a look from James. "Yes, that was all we needed to talk about."

With that, Sirius got up from the table, muttered a "see you later," and left the Leaky Cauldron, leaving the whole table staring after him.

"What's his problem?" asked Kayla.

Mira looked at her calmly and said, "I think you hurt his feelings."

"Me? He doesn't even have feelings! Besides…he's the one that was insulting me!"

"Contrary to what you might believe, Sirius is a human too, and he does in fact have feelings like the rest of us." Mira said.

Kayla sighed, put down her glass she'd been drinking from, and got up from the table. "I'll see you guys later," she said.

"Where are you going?" asked Lily, "We've still got more things to discuss."

"Can you fill me in later? I'm not really feeling the best right now."

"Sure," said Lily. "You do look a little pale. You should go home and get as much rest as possible."

"Ok," said Kayla.

"You're still coming over tomorrow right? Remember that I'm making dinner for everyone." Said Mira.

"Right…I wouldn't miss it for the world." She said.

After Kayla apparated to her flat just outside of London, she began to think about what Mira had said.

_"Sirius has feelings like the rest of us,"_

Kayla knew he was human. She wasn't stupid enough to believe he wasn't. But he always acted like nothing ever bothered him. What if she _had _hurt his feelings today though?

'Oh come on Kayla, stop worrying about it!' she told herself. 'He's hurt your feelings countless times, why should you feel guilty about hurting his feelings this once?'

But that had been a pretty mild argument for them. What if she had hurt his feelings before, just like he had hers?

She tried to put the thought away and think about something else. Like James and Lily's wedding, but the thought was in the back of her mind for the rest of the day.

**A/N: **Alright…there is chapter one…I know, it's pretty boring right now, but just give it a chapter or two to get into it. Next chapter is James and Lily's wedding, which I will hopefully have posted by the end of this week. Please review!!


	3. The Aftermath

**Disclaimer: I don't own anything from the lovely world of Harry Potter.**

**A/N: Sorry it took SO long to update. I've had this written for quite awhile, but I wasn't quite sure where I wanted to go with the story. However, after much time thinking about it I do know, so it shouldn't take nearly as long to update in the future.**

Chapter 3

The morning of Lily and James' wedding, Kayla and Mira met Lily at her parents' house to get ready for the big day. Despite her ill feelings on love, Kayla was very happy for Lily and wanted the day to be as special as possible for her. As soon as they got there, Lily's mother had prepared a big breakfast for the girls.

"Thank you so much for this Mrs. Evans," said Mira, "It's delicious."

"Oh it's no problem dear, and how many times have I told you to call me Erica?" said Mrs. Evans, as she was taking the bacon out of the frying pan. "Besides…it isn't every day when your baby girl gets married."

Lily gave her mother a huge grin and got up to help her with the rest of the breakfast. "Oh no you don't." said her mother. "This is your day, and you will not lift a pinky." Lily gave a sigh and went back to the table to sit down with Kayla and Mira.

"So…how does it feel to know that in a few hours, you'll be a married woman?" asked Kayla.

"Wonderful," said Lily with a grin. "I wonder what James and the guys are doing now?"

"Probably nothing." Said Kayla. "I mean it doesn't really take them that long to get ready and it's still really early."

"Yea, when I left the house, Remus was still asleep." Said Mira with a grin.

"Was it like this for you Mira? On your wedding day?" asked Lily. "Did you feel like this was the day you'd been waiting for since you were born?"

Mira smiled again and said, "Yes. I imagine that's what every bride feels on her wedding day."

"You're right," said Mrs. Evans, bringing over a plate of bacon. "I remember my wedding day perfectly. It _was _one of the best days of my life. However, the days I had each of my girls were even better days. It feels like it was yesterday you were born, and now you're getting married, and it probably won't be long until you have your own children." She said, while wiping her eyes.

"Oh mom, don't cry now…save it for the ceremony."

"Oh believe me, it doesn't matter if I cry now or not. I will definitely cry during the ceremony. "

Lily smiled at her mother. "So will I."

Kayla watched Lily and her mother talk about the ceremony and things to expect after her and James were married, and felt a little envious. She would never have a conversation like this with her mother. Kayla's birth had definitely not been one of the happiest days of her mother's life. If it had been, she wouldn't have left her and her father and brother. Who would be there when she got married to give her this talk? Would there be anybody? Would she even get married at all? Probably not, she decided. Marriage just wasn't for her. She really couldn't see herself settling down with anybody, but she was happy for her friends and their choice to settle down.

********

James woke up around 10 and couldn't sit still for the life of him. He was so excited, yet nervous, about today. He was getting married today. Married. To Lily Evans. In his opinion, she was the smartest, most beautiful girl in the world. He couldn't believe she actually agreed to it. He was looking in the mirror and he just couldn't see what she saw in him. Not that he was complaining. He would do anything to be with her.

He was walking around the house that he and Lily had picked out together, and would live in once they got back from their honeymoon. He was constantly moving and checking his watch.

Around 10:30, Sirius flooed in the house and saw James pacing in the living room.

"Thank goodness you're here." Said James when he spotted Sirius. "I've been going out of my mind."

Sirius gave him a grin and said, "why?"

"Because I don't have anything to do, and I'm nervous."

"Why the hell are you nervous?" asked Sirius. "You're not having second thoughts are you?"

"NO! Of course not!" said James, looking at Sirius like he was stupid. "It's just that, what if she has second thoughts? Or what if I can't support her? And the time is dragging by so slowly, it feels like the wedding will never get here."

"Prongs…mate…calm down." Said Sirius. "Lily loves you…she's not going to have second thoughts, and you're an auror…you won't have a problem supporting her. And to the last part…that's why I'm here…to take your mind off of things so the time goes by faster. Moony is supposed to be here soon too."

"Good," said James, letting out a huge breath. "What do you think Lily is doing right now?"

"I don't know." Said Sirius. "The girls have probably already started on their hair and makeup and stuff. You know how long it takes girls to get ready."

"Yea," said James, hoping that time would go faster.

*********

At three o'clock, all of the guests were seated and the wedding party was lining up in the hall, getting ready to walk down the aisle. Lily's little cousin, the flower girl, was first in the line up, then behind her was Sirius and Kayla, and behind them Mira and Remus.

When Kayla took her spot next to Sirius, he was glad she had to put her arm through his so that he would keep steady. She took his breath away she was so beautiful. Her dark brown hair was up but she had loose curls framing her face, making her look angelic.

"Are you ready?" he asked her softly.

She looked up at him and gave a little smile. "Yea…I'm so happy for them."

"Me too." Said Sirius, "They deserve each other."

"Yea," said Kayla, smiling as she looked back at Lily who was picking at her dress nervously.

"You look absolutely beautiful." He said, bringing Kayla's attention back to him. She looked at him, trying to read his face, and then said "thank you" shyly.

"I mean it," he said. "I'm not being an ass or anything. You really do look gorgeous. Not that you don't all the time, but I figure now is probably the only time you would take me serious about it."

She looked at him again and said, "Why do you say that?"

"Well," he said, "You never take anything I say seriously"

"Well you never act like you want me to take you seriously."

"I do...most of the time. I don't like it that we fight so much."

Kayla looked at him, then turned straight ahead again, but before she could say 'me neither', the wedding march started and it was time for them to start walking down the aisle.

*******

The next morning, Kayla woke up to pain. She tried to open her eyes, but it just made the pain worse. She put her hands over her eyes and then opened them, which still hurt but it was at least tolerable. Then she remembered why she was in pain. Lily and James' wedding reception. She had gotten drunk. Majorly drunk. That was pretty much all she remembered of the night. She sighed, then flung the covers off the bed, got up (which hurt like hell) and went to the medicine cabinet in the bathroom where she kept some hangover potion. Not that she needed to use it all the time. It was there just in case.

In no time she was feeling better, and had decided to take a shower to make her feel even better. Fifteen minutes later, she came out of the shower and walked into the bedroom to put her clothes on. Once she was dressed she went to her dresser to grab her hairbrush off the top. While grabbing she knocked over her jewelry box on accident.

"Bloody hell," said a voice from behind her, making her jump in surprise. "Could you be a little quieter please? Some of us are trying to die over here."

Kayla slowly turned around to face the voice, which was coming from her bed. Sirius Black was in her bed. A naked Sirius Black. Kayla dropped her hairbrush from her hand.

"Wh-What are you doing here?" she asked.

Sirius rubbed his eyes, then put his hands on his head, obviously in pain, then looked at her. "What do you mean what am I doing here?"

"Why…are….you…here?"

Sirius looked at her for a minute, staring at her with a curious expression. "You mean you don't remember?"

"Re-re-remember what?"

He looked at her again and then said, "Well I guess I shouldn't be too surprised…you don't hold your alcohol very well. But still…"

"What are you talking about?" asked Kayla, a little angry now.

"Well I'm not sure why I need to explain it to you, I would think it would be obvious by now. We slept together." He said matter-of-factly.

"No," she said in a little voice.

"Umm…yes," he said, "look do you have any hangover potion? I feel like I have World War One going on in my head."

"No," she said again.

"Well alright I may be exaggerating a little, but…"

"No!" she said, interrupting him. "We didn't…we couldn't…"

Sirius smiled at her, "We did sweetheart."

Kayla looked at him in horror, "No…no…no no no."

That made Sirius a little irritated. "Yes."

Kayla started pacing, talking under her breath when suddenly she turned on him and said, "Get out!"

This made him even more irritated. "You've got to be kidding me."

"No…no….no I'm not kidding…get out….now." she said.

**A/N: Please Review! **


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